Stolen Glances
by Rinny Angel
Summary: There are times in life when we must confront what we feel. Quistis reflects on her emotions and gains some insights on her life. R+R Please.


Stolen Glances…

_'You had no idea did you? Or maybe you did, but didn't care. I suppose that doesn't really matter now though.'_ Quistis sighed to herself as she walked into the beautifully decorated Quad. _'At the time I felt like I had a tangible chance at your heart. It was as if I was breaking through to you. But as I look back on it, I was never even close.'_Slowly and rhythmically walked up the aisle to the front. _'So many times I would ask myself what would be worse, being observed with a look of distaste or not observed at all. I guess such questions are rhetorical since both are equally painful. You would regard me with irritation, or not notice me at all. Both were thrown daggers to my heart.'_

The people sitting quietly around the Quad looked up as she passed _'Countless times I would just gaze at you when no one was looking. I can draw your picture from memory without having to think about it. I knew you better than anyone else. I care so much about you and at one time, thought you cared for me too.'_Quistis stood tall at her place in the front and waited patiently. _'You never knew it, but I've seen you smile and felt my heart soar and be ripped apart at the sight. You've changed for the better, but I've stayed the same. Worst of all, I wasn't the one to help you break free of your solitude.'_ Squall walked in proudly with Zell and Irvine in tow. Quistis smiled at him sweetly. 

_'You have no idea how much you mean to me. You never did. You made me love you without doing anything at all…or maybe it was every little thing you did that affected me so.'_The crowd grew to a deafening silence. _'You don't feel my eyes on you, tracing every inch of your face. No one notices where my attention lies either. But I often find myself have hoping that you'll feel my presence and catch my eyes, unfortunately I would just make up some excuse and nothing will have changed. Perhaps things aren't meant to change for me.' _The music broke the air and filled the large sector. Quistis knew the time had arrived. _'Everyone's eyes are on her now, well, everyone's but mine. I can never pass up an opportunity to get a glimpse at you .I can read you like a book.You may not be smiling with your lips, but I can see it in your eyes. I know that spark. You never did look at me with it, I dreamed you did, but that was fantasy.'_

__Rinoa began to walk in, the crowd intent on her every move. She was beautifully dressed and walked with a grace. _'In my mind, I would trace your scar, and smile into your eyes. When we speak, I don't know how I keep myself from stuttering, all I can concentrate on is you. But you never look back at me. You saw me, but you looked right through me.' _Rinoa and Squall held hands and looked at each other. Headmaster Cid stood in front of everyone, the event was starting. _'Soon everything will change…it already has. I long so much to kiss you and hug you, and fall asleep in your arms. But I suppose I'll be happy with my stolen glances. I'll always be watching over you.'_

The Headmaster spoke words which sounded like a funeral mass to Quistis _'It is a death to me. You will leave me forever…but then again, you were never really here.' _Squall gave his ring to Rinoa, and she, hers to him. Quistis felt the hot pricks of tears welling up in her eyes. _'Good-bye. I will always love you, even if I can never tell you. I'll love you from a far. I want you to know that. It's better this way I guess. I know that you're strong enough on your own, and that you don't need my strength…' _Squall and Rinoa kissed and Quistis had to look down. She felt empty inside. _'…but maybe I need yours.' _

Squall smiled and whisked Rinoa out of the Quad as the music played out. The entire crowd swiftly followed suit. Quistis was left behind in the large, empty room. It was quite fitting for that's how she felt; vacant. _'No more glancing at you, praying you'll catch my eyes. No more dreaming of you with me. No more dreams.' _The tears finally fell down her cheeks. Only two, for the mighty Quistis Trepe did not cry. _'You had better be good to Squall, Mrs. Leonheart.If you hurt him, you'll kill me.' _Slowly Quistis left the Quad. Rinoa and Squall had already left for their honeymoon and the Instructor went back to her room. There were only memories that weren't real, flights of fancy her mind had created. She searched her mind to recall a time when there had been a reciprocated look of affection. But she only found herself. Alone. 

**AUTHOR'S NOTE~ **Saying that I was in a weird mood when I wrote this would be a massive understatement. I don't think this is the best I've ever written (not my usual tissue worthy stuff :P) but it was just an idea that I had stuck in my head and I just had to get it out. So, tell me whatcha think! J__


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